A Question from Nicole at The Morning Mashup

A Question from Nicole at The Morning Mashup on Facebook this morning...

Nicole reported in the 4-1-1 that Kim Kardashian flew away for a trip with soccer star Cristiano Renaldo. This after Kim and Reggie Bush just broke up about a month ago. Rich thinks this just shows that Kim was never really that in love with Reggie if she can move on and get back into a relationship so quickly.

There’s no way she was in love with him and ready to marry him after three years of dating, and then it only taking her a month to get into a situation with someone else. Rich even thinks it’s even a bit disrespectful to move on so quickly. Nicole, Stanley T and Ryan think that sometimes it’s easier to get over your ex after you get that rebound in, so you can get your groove back.

When you and a partner break up should there be a respect buffer of time before either of you get into dating, or another relationship? How long do you think a respect buffer should be?

2 comments

1 Nicole { 04.21.10 at 8:22 am }

There should be a little time, but no one can hold off on dating forever. If you’re out after a breakup and someone tries to hit on you and you’re comfortable with it…why not go with it? It’s ridiculous to hold back just because your ex might not like it. You go out when YOU’RE ready, not when other people think you’re ready. There is, however, a chance that you may get back together with your ex, and if you think that’s the case then you should hold off until you reach that point where there’s no contact with him/her.

2 Michelle Scarafile { 04.21.10 at 8:24 am } (My Response...)

I do agree that some sort of a respect buffer (or whatever you want to call it) is warranted when something substantial has ended. What the magic measure of time is, I don’t know. I also believe that there is a lot of value in spending some time by yourself.

I’m a single mom and the last two guys I’ve dated moved on to their next relationship without so much as a blink. I think that when you jump so quickly into something else that you risk losing the lesson you were supposed to learn from the relationship you were in and that you also set yourself up to repeat the same mistakes again.

Feathers, bricks, trucks… The lessons keep coming until you get them and each time they come, they’re bigger and brighter and bolder…

With that being said, sometimes (especially if the break up was particularly hard) and you find yourself still swimming around in heartache months later, it’s best to “act as if” and move on…

I dated a guy for two years and when we split I was devastated. We loved each other deeply, but I came to the realization that we wanted different things. I was single for about four months and then began dating another guy (we dated for about 9 months). He was my rebound guy and I don’t know if it would have made a difference if I dated him a month after my previous relationship or 6 months after… He still would have been the rebound guy.